Love Story Competition 2018 - Runner Up

“One cup of coffee for the lovely lady,” you whisper. Your lips, minty fresh, mine furry from red wine and barely remembered sex. Your stubble scratches my cheek. I open eyes to golden light, ocean blue eyes regarding me with amusement through dark lashes, fluttering white drapes; French windows open to the dawn, you bare-chested. I’m a lucky lady, as you often say. I wipe away a tear.
“Sleepy head,” you say.
“I had a dream.” I sit up, looking out to sea. “You were in it. We’d died and gone to heaven.”
“Divine.” You laugh, climbing under sheets. I face away. I don’t tell you heaven was a dark, dingy place, with uneven floors, foreboding rooms, creepy nooks.  I don’t say God was long gone.
“There were people we’ve known.” I say. “Remember Sally? Just the same as the last time I saw her.”
“Completely pissed?”
“Jess and Dan, remember them? They lived opposite?”
“I do.” You scratch your chin. “We had fun, back then.”
“Back then was great.”
“Barbeques in summer……” You sigh, stretching. “She was another. What is it with your friends? Always drinking.”
“We have to, to put up with our husbands.”
“She pulled the Christmas tree on top of her. Remember?” Your hands are warm under cool, cotton sheets. You laugh, nuzzling in. You decided it best we didn’t see Jess after that.
“So who else kicked the proverbial?” Your hand explores. I stiffen.
“I walked through heaven, looked out a window into a misty courtyard through huge, wrought iron gates. They were queuing, like beggars dressed in rags, holding out plates, dying but not yet dead, the poor wretches.”
“Anyone else we know?”
“Just my ex, Stewart, from university.”
“The idiot coke head?”
“Him.”
“I’m not surprised. He’s cruising for a midlife heart attack.”
“And our cat.”
“Amelia?” You sound appalled. “Poor little thing. Shall I take her to the vets, darling? Get her health checked?”
“Yes.” I nod even though you’re patronizing. I know the dream was real.
“Shall we?” you whisper, nibbling my ear, your thigh gripping, grinding into me, hand cupping my behind, fingers working inside.
“No.” I wiggle away; reach for my coffee. “Tabitha will be up soon.”
 You sigh, lay back.
 “She was with us in the dream.”
I sip the coffee. It’s delicious. My heart is heavy. A stone lump filled with foreboding. It was the worst dream ever.
“She was just as she is now, skipping around without a care. Julian wasn’t there though.”
Julian’s our son. I glance at you in profile. Dark skinned with a sensuous, hard set mouth, the only clue to cruelty. You always get what you want. Jess called you a control freak.
“Speak of the devil.” You say. The door creaks open. Tabitha peeks round, clutching her teddy, all tousled strawberry ringlets, truly delicious in short pyjamas.
“Morning, sweetheart.” You open arms, letting her clamber into the warmth of your chest, tucked in, you breathe as one. Outside, the ocean sings along, in sync. I take another sip of coffee, hands shaking.
In my dream we sat in a circle on the cold, dusty floor of heaven around a battered old oil drum, burned down to embers. We warmed ourselves off each other; all we had in this sparse, forsaken place. I look towards you, cuddling our little girl, stroking her tiny, ecstatic face. Here’s the part of the dream I cannot tell you.
He was lurking in the shadows, chiselled in his trunks, Temptation. I left the family circle and walked towards him. I couldn’t help it. He is a smouldering, intense magnet. He reels me in.
Truly, I want him to leave me be. But he won’t. I’m caught in his net and don’t like it one bit. He’s making damn sure he’s my every waking thought. I’d like to believe I am on his mind, that it is he following me, but I’m unsure that’s true anymore, though it might have been when this whole thing started. The way he circled like a gull in the harbour might have been my imagination. All I know for sure is he has me exactly where he wants. I find myself lingering by his boat, walking down the beach hoping to catch a glimpse of him.
“This is heaven.” You sigh. “We have it all.”  In your arms, sweet Tabitha sighs.
“I want you marry you, Daddy.” She says. You give a hearty laugh.
“But I’m already married to Mummy.” You stroke my arm. “I love her very much and love you.”
I smile tightly.
“I’ll marry Julian instead then.” Tabitha pouts petulantly, then smiles, face bright as sunshine. If only things were so simple.
Temptations’ is a world of complexity and vice, duplicity, seedy situations with other women, underhandedness and intrigue. I know he’s a sleaze. You are worth ten thousand of him. You’re the catch, even if you do take me for granted, don’t bother with conversation, overlook my needs, put me down in front of people…….but you are a big fish, and work so hard to provide. I know I’m reckless, but somehow, Temptation and I, feel like fate…..
In my dream I abandoned you and our little girl by the cold grate, went with Temptation, down, down, into a basement. I felt his body’s proximity, could barely breathe. His hip bumped mine. There was no going back.
A strange minister waited, hands clasped in prayer, a shock of white hair, black skin and flaming cat’s eyes. He could bless our unholy union, at a price.  
“Welcome to the sex basement.” He opened his arms like Christ.
It looked much like some seedy night club, with strobes and neon lights. I wasn’t much impressed.
“Come on in, fuck to your hearts content for all eternity.” The minister gestured. The tortured moans of the damned filtered over banging tunes as they writhed in the agony of constant rutting. I looked at Temptation. He looked back at me, eyes blank and predatory.  I wanted him right now, more than anything else in this world, but certainly not forever. I’m eternally yours, aren’t I? And Temptation just wanted easy gratification, going wherever the tide took him. I really didn’t want to be stuck down here with him forever.
To him, I’m just a game. He’s had plenty like me and there are plenty more in the sea. I’m just another opportunity and it amuses him to toy with me. He delights in unsettling, destroying my equilibrium for ego gratification, doesn’t care what I stand to lose. It flatters him I’d risk it all for something as lowdown and loveless as his offering.
I wish you’d break the spell. I glance at you, counting chubby fingers on our child’s hand. You are blissfully unaware. I have no protection.
 “You’re at a crossroads.” The minister’s eyes were hellfire.
You always meet the devil at a crossroads.
The minister showed two scenes. The first, our family, surrounded by white light, stretching beyond a golden horizon, a place of pure love. Julian coming in, sleepy and tousled, you exclaiming,
“Here’s the boy.”  Julian climbing in with the rest of us, Tabitha’s jealous bickering about not enough room.
In the other scene, two bodies writhe under hot neon, mine and Temptation’s, drowning in sweat, wetness, delicious heat, strobe lights flash, a crowd watches,  head back, moaning, teeth sinking into flesh, parted lips, my hand gripping him …..
“Suck me.” Temptation says. I go down.
I want to tell you how he sidled up to me on the beach last week.
“Don’t worry, we fuck very soon,” he whispered. “Okay?”
“Okay.” I whispered. I couldn’t stop myself.
“No problem.” He grinned, swaggering away, flirting with two teenagers further down the sand.
I look at Julian.
“He looks tired.” I say. “Didn’t you sleep, baby?” Julian shakes his head, sucking his thumb.
“He was calling for you in the night,” you say. “Weren’t you, lad?” Julian has an accusing cast in his eye. “You were out for the count so I went.” You kiss Julian’s curls. “Mummy was drunk on wine, dreaming of heaven.”
“I dreamt you’d gone, Mummy,” Julian’s forehead creases.
I want to say I’d never leave, but I remember another part of the dream. Julian crying in the distance, running from the minister and Temptation, frantically searching for my son, flinging open doors into dark rooms, finally finding him cowering.
“Where are we?” His eyes were wide.
“I don’t know.” I whispered. “They say its heaven, but I don’t believe it.” I held my little boy tight.
I can’t stay in the white light forever, tucked up in perfection. It’s another illusion. I know, deep down, though my love for you knows no bounds, something is terribly amiss with our marriage. It makes me so lonely, so sad my heart aches. Something lures me towards Temptation. Some deep, dark, scary place inside me needs exploring. I know it isn’t heaven, but Temptation calls from the neon sex basement.
“Daddy’s up in heaven with Tabitha.” I told our little boy, kissing his forehead. “Go find him, and I’ll come later, I promise.”
I walked back down to the basement.
It was then you woke me, my love, with soft kisses, a steaming cup of fresh brewed coffee. And the regret of what is soon to be, really hit me.
“What a perfect Sunday morning.” You sigh, stretching on the bed. Children tumble like puppies from you. “I wish we could stay like this, together, forever.”  But you’re looking at your watch, pulling a white robe round your magnificent body. “Nothing lasts forever. I’ve work to do. Another coffee?”
I manage a wry, sad smile, looking up into your eyes, passing my empty cup. My smile fades. I see you’re conspiring with me, deep in your eyes, something ruthlessly goading. A girl is reflected back, her body lithe in a skimpy bikini. I realise you know all about Temptation.