McCredited: UTM WM December 2024

My name is Simon L’Etoile. I’m the lead singer for the band Black Widow. They say the smell of patchouli oil follows wherever I go. Our band is on the road, heading for Birmingham then Manchester and Glasgow, ending in a long trip back to London. Wembley Arena the following week.
“Come on, guys!” said Colin (lead guitar).
“Coming!” said Ray (drums), a cigarette hanging from his lower lip.
“Get in the bus, everyone!” I said to the guitar tech, the sound guy, our roadie and associated hangers-on. “We gotta hit the road!”
Tom (bass) and Henry (rhythm guitar) were already on the coach passing a fat joint between them.
“Faster!” said Colin (his inclination with solos, also).
“Gotta go. Let’s blow,” I said to the driver. He closed the doors.
We pulled out of the hotel entrance and slowly made our way out of London. It was 11 April 2007: the second day of the Widows’ farewell reunion tour.
We settled down for the ride. The travel is part of the package – like the long-haul flight before you arrive at the idyllic beach. Our Copacabana was performing to thousands of punters for two and a half hours. It wasn’t as wild as it had been first time around, in the 1980s, but we still aimed at having fun.
“Pass that spliff!” Colin gestured at Tom and it was passed hand to hand over the seats to him. I opened a beer with a bottle opener on my key ring. The beer foamed phallically down the long neck. I swigged and looked at the others. “On a roll, guys! Same energy tonight? I mimed genteel applause.
Some nodded. Some rolled their eyes as if to say “Who made you boss?” Let’s hope tonight is as good, I thought before necking some more of the beer.
Rain droned against the coach windows, turning the capital into melting grey shapes. Ah, the pleasures of a UK tour. All but the driver’s windscreen had been dark tinted.

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